Looking back at myself I realized our life changes so quickly. There is a point of time in life when we have absolutely no idea what we are going through and we lose the vision of our future. We find ourselves standing alone amidst all the crowd. Alienating ourselves from all the traits that ever defined us, all the moral values, all the beliefs we were composed of, we catechize ourselves about who we are.
Encaged in the numbness of our heart we start moving with the stream like a dead fish. We hold on to the situation that we are put into. In the act of finding our identity we become the slave of our own spiritless thoughts. We keep stabbing our heart with the catastrophic visualization of failures of past repeating, premonitions of future, anxiety, stress, responsibilities and eventually have grave repercussions of ourselves with no inner voice or warm embracing soul left inside.
We forget the taste of courage, the strength of fearlessness. The fearlessness we showed when we participated in a competition, or performed on stage for the first time, or stood against a bully at school, or even the silliest childhood fights we fought over pencils and other petty things.
We forget how we saved some time for ourselves everyday that was only ours or let me put it in a better way, how we mastered time and schedule so that we could watch our favorite cartoon or magic shows or any superhero shows or any detective series on tv or play an extra hour after school even during exam hours, even when we were piled up with assignments and homework and all the stress our tiny innocent minds could handle.
We forget to fight back our extreme fears and opt for what we really want. I mean what can feel worse than literally drowning in water but this is how we learnt swimming right? We forget to take the risk of drowning to learn swimming.
Pursuing for happiness in owning big things we forget to notice the little things happening around us. The happiness we felt when a cute little puppy followed us all the way back home from school. The happiness we felt when we could identify a constellation for the first time by looking at the stars. The happiness we felt when we got an extra chocolate on our friend’s birthday. The happiness we felt when we saw the first beard growing or in my case when i had my first actual haircut!
Looking back at times when our little innocent mind understood nothing, made me realize that it at least understood himself. It understood real happiness. It understood Life and blossomed but as we are ageing and gaining wisdom to understand everything but ourselves, are we actually growing?